yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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