he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
