I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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