a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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