I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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