He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
