Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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