Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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