question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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