My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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