My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
