I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
