I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
