There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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