I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
