people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
