Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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