She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
