If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
