What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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