2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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