theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
