I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
