it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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