Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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