Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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