We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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