I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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