So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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