mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
