i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
