Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
