i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
