i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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