this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
