Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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