white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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