my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
