giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
