Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize