Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
