i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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