May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
