Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
