I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
