I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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