You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
