I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
