Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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