the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
