I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
