I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
