my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
