Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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